Some Luck Continues

For those of you following the blow-by-blow I just wanted to update that Awesome *did* manage to get out of her NYE trip--- but that still leaves a couple of questions unanswered. One-- was it her doing, and two-- is she going to follow through on the "prospective" obligatory date she has with her neighbor? I've already gotten past the fact that she very well may not be spending NYE with me. After all it's kind of a loaded holiday-- especially to reunite with an ex. Perhaps I should be thankful that I'm potentially dodging an evening filled with significance and expectations.

So there's that. Also, today is officially my birthday. I turn 24 today-- but I still have 6 years left to prove to certain naysayers (mom!) that I will live past 30. My liver is still (somewhat) intact, I can hold my breath for more than 60 seconds, and if I have to, run from the police without getting tired (but I will be sore the next day-- it's a compromise).

To commemorate the event, here is a short list of accomplishments and things I've successfully been able to avoid in all 24 years of my life.

1. I once went 20 years without drinking any alcohol. Shut up, it counts.
2. I achieved my lifelong dream of working for a large newspaper, wrote stories, took photos, and was an integral part of the paper itself. Then I got fired. Oh well-- NEW GOALS! Woohoo!
3. I harbored a 10 foot neon sign in my living room after my friends stole it from a place that went out of business. We eventually returned it after the disappointing realization that we weren't going to make the 6 o'clock news.
   
4. I have yet, *knock on wood* to get a VD of any kind. Mononucleosis when I was 16 does not count, even though it is a form of herpes. It's like chicken pox, you assholes! Everyone gets it! And the reason it burned when I peed last year is not because I had the germ, but because my penis is too big urine is literally 250 degrees Fahrenheit. Like Chuck Norris, I eventually adapted and learned to use it as a weapon.
   
5. So far I've slept with over 20 women. This is NOT an accomplishment of any kind, nor is it anything to be proud of. I repeatedly feel saddened when I'm asked if I know a girl that people doubt I know-- and it turns out I've slept with her. Anyway, the real achievement here is that none of them would kick me out of their bed. YEA BABY! But don't worry-- I still have a deep respect and appreciation for everyone I've shagged.

That's all folks!!!!

Gentleman with some luck

This is a slightly revised version of the post named "Lucky Gentleman" or something like that. I don't remember, and I'm too lazy to actually check, so just go with it.

Anyway, the idea is that I'm not really lucky in general, I just have a lot of luck and I'm a gentleman about how I decide to carry out these actions. I'll give you a few examples.

First. We'll call this little nugget "CP," which is short for Cattle Prod. Yes, that's right. One night, I got a call from JB asking me if I'd like to come over to make out with CP, since CP had broken up with her boyfriend a few weeks ago and was feeling horny lonely. I gracefully declined this offer, thinking this is not the kind of thing I do, no matter how crazy people think I am. A couple weeks later, CP is showing me photos from her digital camera of a guy FUCKING her, and makes a special note of the cattle prod laying across her naked body. I remembered back when I first met CP, she was at a different bar, and was much more sober than today (these days). She seemed like a sweet girl with a little bit of rebellion. Such was not the case, obviously. Along with that cattle prod she had duck tape wrapped around random areas of her body. I did my best to smile with amusement, but could barely contain the upchuck forcing its way up my throat.

Second. JB herself decided to make a move on me. This was the same night I had a wonderful evening with JR-- henceforth known as Awesome. Anyway, JB knew nothing about the date with Awesome, since she runs in different circles, but decided nonetheless to offer her physical being to me, at my disposal, whenever I so chose. Obviously, I declined this offer. JB is a nice girl, behind that iron curtain of vodka bottles, and she really seems like she needs a nice guy like me in her life--- only, I'm too young to deal with her bullshit, she's too drunk ALL THE TIME, and worst of all--- she likes to make a scene. That's an instant zap in my book. INSTANT ZAP.

I could go on with the third and fourth ones, but they require WAY too much explanation, and my faithful readers would probably appreciate a bit of brevity at this point. (sorry guys)

So I managed to wiggle some time in with Awesome tonight by offering to pick her up from duh pub (not to be confused with the REAL pub, which I will always refer to as "The Bar"). Her friend was a little catty, complained most of the time, and generally came off as a girl who would basically rip my face off if I gave her the opportunity. I grew anxious as Awesome, Face-Ripper-Offer and I sat there, sipping our brews, talking about our respective Christmastimes. Face-Ripper-Offer stayed only long enough to evaluate me, then give Awesome a thumbs up or down. Apparently, by Face-Ripper-Offer leaving on her own accord, it was a signal to Awesome that she felt comfortable leaving her (Awesome) with me alone. Awesome later confirmed this by telling me that Face-Ripper-Offer commented that I was cute and funny while I wasn't looking.


Duh.

Anyway, after F-R-O left, Awesome and I just kind of sat dazed for a while. She had this look like she wanted to tell me something, but wouldn't let herself. I hate those situations. You know it's not your place to push for it-- yet having it on your mind makes it really difficult to pursue other topics of idle conversation.

FF>>

Awesome and I are sitting in my car at her place, sort of looking for the signal from one another. After a silence broke out, I finally asked her if I could kiss her. More like, "Can I just kiss you now? Seriously?"
She shook her head no, and sort of leaned away. But her eyes... oh, my friends, her eyes said she lied.
"Bullshit," I said, and I kissed her. she kissed back

Well, don't they always kiss back at first? Of course they do, at first, but that's just reaction. Anyway, she began to press against my chest and I moved with her hands as if the lightest touch could guide me. More chatting. "I should go," she said, and gripped the door-- failing to actually open it. "That's a sign," I said, but immediately unlocked the door for her-- but leaned in at the same time.

After we finished kissing, she asked me what time I needed to meet my sister. "It's tentative," I replied, "I'd say we have another twenty minutes."

For fifteen of those minutes she revealed to me that the person she was "prospectively" going to have NYE with was her neighbor; that this person and her were traveling to New Orleans to visit a friend of hers' and that she had no idea what was going to happen. Then she said, "You know what I really hate... about you?"

My mind reeled with a myriad of things to hate about me.

"You have the worst timing," she said.
I paused, smiled, and respectfully disagreed. "I think I have pretty good timing. If this means that there's even a small chance that while you're down in New Orleans with that other guy, that I'll be in the back of your head at any point during that trip, then I have the best timing in the world."
"If it means," I continued, "That at some point you wonder what it'd be like if you were there with me instead of him, then I have some pretty damn good timing. Because the way I see it, if I had waited a second longer to come to you, that chance might not exist."

After a long pause, she noticed the clock was nearing the 5-minute mark of when I said I'd have to leave. She looked at me and said, "Can we, just for the next five minutes, not think about anything but kissing each other?"

Certainly. Most certainly.

Happy New Years... and Happy Birthday to me in less than 21 hours.

A Festivus for the Rest of Us

At last, the Christmas season is tumbling to an end. Already, Wal-Mart and Target have begun carting out obscene amounts of candy with pink wrappers in preparation for Valentine's Day. Hendog said it best: America is not a democratic society; it is a capitalist society. Long gone are the days when our sacred past-times slowly creep up on the calendar, only to suddenly arrive with little warning and rabid fanfare. Now, America prepares to celebrate holidays months ahead of time by offering useless riff-raff for which the public has embraced as "tradition" and so pressures its citizens to "need". Things like mass-produced candy in lieu of home cooked treats, video games that promote vandalism and violence instead of a joy ride with the family to the city.

Despite all that, the shameless profitism of days where loving one another has been replaced with the subtle giving (as in buying) for others, in spite of that... now that the day itself is finally here, I could not be happier with the friends and family that God has blessed me with.

My friend T used to say, "Only on Earth," when strange truths were revealed. He has a point. Thank God for free will, the ability to screw every imaginable thing up and still be blessed with the support of loved ones. No one is beyond salvation, holy, literal, or imagined. Not a one.

God bless all of you.

Good Timing

Part 1.

Perspective: I'm sitting on my chair listening to Johnny Cash's "I Walk The Line". This song goes further for me than I ever would have expected when I first listened to it. As I sit in my kinda-shabby apartment, watching Sister's cats body slam each other, I think of the last couple of nights. A girl heretofore to be known as JB hit on me. Hard Core. I realized this ridiculous circumstance mainly because JB (a figment in my life) decided to tell me that she was up for grabs, and all I had to do was call her and she was there for the taking.. The problem? I'm not a manwhore. The other problem? How could I meaningfully be pursuing DC if I took the easy out and got laid with JB?

My dilemma is simple. There's a girl I could have had in a heartbeat if I so chose, meanwhile, a girl that treats me like shit that I've been chasing since June.

What a fucking minute. I have DC blowing me off every chance she gets, meanwhile, there's another chick saying, "Here. I'm yours. Come and get it." People who know me really well know that I hate the absence of challenge. I have mixed feelings when a super-drunk girl hits on me, even if she knows me well. Obviously, there's the initial "Hell yea!" at being wanted in the first place, especially for something like an easy sexcapade. But the thing that kept me from going for it was only PARTLY about DC. It was more about me thinking, this cannot be the product of months and months of going out to the bars and being "Me". So I stop. I think about it. I listen to myself. Here's what myself was saying:

JB made me realize two things with her drunken attempt to sack me. First, she made me realize that with my current behavior, IE, drinking and being a bar rat, only someone who knew me well enough to know that I would probably turn them dow-- and only if that person was drunk as fuck would possibly make me an offer like that.

Yea, that's not depressing at all. Secondly, JB made me realize that the first thing that came to mind as she offered all these things was the thought of someone who had been treating me like CRAP finding out about me taking up her offer, and losing my chances completely.

Wow. Can anyone say PATHETIC?

So in one fell swoop, I decided to walk the line. Goodbye, JB. Goodbye, DC. I don't need you any less than you need me, and that's a promise.

Part 2.
Perspective: I'm sitting on my couch in my crappy apartment listening to Matchbox 20. The song is "Unwell". It's a good song for feeling like no one understands the craziness you're going through, or feeling inside. Lately, I've been taking odd jobs working as the UnBouncer (unofficial) for several places. Taking out my aggressions on people who've been deemed unbarworthy, and I get to escort them out the door. It's been a good outlet. I get to feel like the big man, and I don't have to explain my meanness to anyone. If I see them again and they call me out-- hey-- I was just doing my job (at the time).

Just as I decided that DC was out for good, I went to the coffee shop today and wondered how JR was doing. I texted her and asked if she'd like to grab a cup with me. She called me back and said she was in the middle of cleaning her apartment, but if I wanted to drop by with some coffee, that'd be good.

Side Note: I dated JR for two months last year, starting in November 06 and ending in early January 07. Our breakup was quiet for me, but noisy for her. Having said that, I've regretted walking away ever since, and I still think about our time together as a couple, even if there wasn't really a name for it.

I decided to grab a paper and stick it into my bag before heading over with coffee. When I arrived, I pulled out the paper and located the crossword puzzles, which she and I spent a very quiet 30 minutes solving. Suddenly she realized we needed to go to Hobby Lobby to grab more Christmas gift stuff, so we went there. I drove. The evening was slowly evolving into a date. Things were going well. There were flirtations, reminiscences of past dates, trips, and good times, and so on. She made whole wheat angel hair pasta with home-made pesto sauce. I gotta tell ya, it was really good. I don't know if I was just REALLY freaking hungry, or if I was just happy to be in her company again, but that felt like the best home-cooked meal I've had since T-day. Schnazzas! yow.

After the meal, I asked her if she wanted to go see the Christmas lights at the square. She looked at me very suspiciously, (which I confirmed with a sneaky grin) and reluctantly (maybe just hesitantly) agreed. I kept thinking to myself if I stop smiling, I'm going to frown for the rest of the night, because I'm so damn sure that my plans are going to get shot to hell. My plan? Go for the walk with the lights, let the romance set in, then lay it out there. Then ask if she has plans for NYE, and if not, ask her out.

Part 3.
Perspective: I'm sitting in my couch, listening to The Who's "Won't Get Fooled Again". I've got a big, stupid grin on my face. JR already has a date for NYE, but she allowed a kiss... or two... or more than a few. She lamented on how confused this all made her-- which to me is a great sign. Confusion is good. Confusion isn't "No."

Now, just so you guys know, I really do like JR. As I said before, I "Laid it all out there". That, in effect, is me saying that since we broke up, that I have never forgotten her, and that my feelings have remained unchanged. I tried (up until recently) to distract myself, but I've been unsuccessful because no other girl is like JR. She will just blurt random observations out. She is a conversationalist, and even better, she's fucking brilliant. She's beautiful to me. She appears innocent, but she's got the heart of a sage. She's a lover of life, to the point where ridiculous events are more valuable to her than others simply because she sees the value of telling the story of it later.

As the evening ended, she left acting amused and bemused alike, and me feeling wishful and confident altogether.

I promise, tomorrow, I'll be much funnier.

I'm kind of a big deal.

That's right, people.... this is the 30th blog so far. Not too shabby considering it seems like just yesterday when I was pondering whether this blog would make it after its first post or fizzle out like the majority. It would appear that not only have I got something to say-- but that I can say it over and over again, 30 times. Hooray me.

Since I love lists so much (those numbered paragraphs spelling out in no particular sequence my random epiphanies throughout the day) I decided to go ahead and give this occurrence a name. Therefore, I hereby christen all lists henceforth "Hit Lists". No doubt the FBI will be reading my blog more often now, but that's a risk I'm willing to take. Who knows, maybe the feds will read this and see some way to capitalize on my ability to rant.

On we go.

1. I saw "I Am Legend" today with Sister and Hendog. It was actually really good. I didn't expect much when it came to the plot, but my expectations were a little high with Will Smith as the lead. With no other A-listers co-starring (it is a "last man on earth" story) he is basically carrying the huge weight of smoothing over the movie's many plot errors. Having said that, he performed exceptionally well-- exceptionally human. That's all I ask for.

2. I had to kick the same guy out of three separate bars tonight. I heard shit from some people about their friend and how cool he is-- but how they don't want him around. Too fucking bad. I'm not going to kick your friend out just because he annoys you. Do the world a favor and be honest for once. Even worse is when people see I have some pull with the bar staff, and think I want to have a conversation about how they elbowed someone in the sternum the other day. Nice move, dude. Tell me again why I give a shit? I totally feel for people I previously considered assholes now. I SO fucking relate now.

3. DC was walking up the street just as I was heading to BBR. Don't ask me how, but she suckered me into going to Finn's, which I advised against, and of course, they go in, then leave two minutes later. Instead, they head to George's, where DC is accosted by her stalker. So I had the personal treasure and joy of watching her bitch a guy out for following her around everywhere. No wonder she is so damn sketchy. A guy can't freakin smell DC's fart without him getting jealous. This another reason why I am anti-pacifist at times. Some people have the let-it-go, it's-all-good, it's-cool mentality... well what happens when you wind up with a stalker? no go, no good, not cool.

Anyway, the DC moratorium continues until she at least gives me a damn clue.

A lucky gentleman

It's true. I've been in a lot of situations where if I was a much less decent kind of guy, I could get away with a lot of things that most people are ashamed to admit they've done. But as a gentleman, I take the higher road-- not because I think someone's watching-- because as all of you know, I really don't care about that-- but because I imagine at some point, when I was completely oblivious, someone did the same for me.

Unfortunately, my gentlemanly character stops here-- because I'm tired and I've stayed up so late that I've already taken my morning shit.

To sum everything up, I leave you this small token. It's a present for all my faithful readers.

Rhino the Cat

My sister has a cat named Rhino. The best way to describe Rhino is adamant, yet confused. There are times when he is the sweetest little kitty in the world, and times when he seems to be in the mood for harvesting your vital organs.

Now, I know I run the risk of sounding like a weird dude that's proud of his cat-- because, let's just face it... cats aren't really a guy thing. In fact, cats in general are pretty gay. I say that knowing full well that most homosexual pet owners actually care for a small dog of some sort-- shockingly enough, it seems like those little wiener dogs are the most common. (I have no idea why) Nevermind the fact that every small dog I've met with a gay owner acts like he is in constant fear of punishment.

As a disclaimer, I really haven't met very many dogs with gay owners-- and I'm sure that with the majority of these dogs still out there, that I can be proven wrong very very quickly. However, this is my little world, and the current laws of nature originate from my brain.

Secondly, I know a lot of you would probably counter by thinking, "Oh no no, my cat is so funny, etc. etc." and counter with your own story of how little Binky or Mr. Testicles III once caught a cricket and freaked out by piddling all over his widdle self. But the truth is I really don't care about your stupid cat. This entry is about my sister's stupid cat, and how stupid I think it is.

In fact, I even have proof.

Behold!

Youtube doesn't like embedding objects into blogs, so here's a link.

Progress

Take a close look at the tags I've given this blog-- in fact, if you want to know what any blog of mine is going to cover, look at the tags-- if there's no subject that interests you, then I've just saved you at least 5 minutes of time. And that's just because I'm such an nice guy.

I have four goals.

1. This is one I hope to achieve in the next 30 minutes. In an effort to make my blogs more palatable, I'm going to spend only 20 minutes actually writing. Hopefully, with practice, I'll be able to write a well-rounded blog in less than ten. We'll see what happens.

2. Continue searching for employment. I had an interview today with Tony C, the owner of several low-grade bars in the area... mostly just "clubs" for people who don't like to wear collared shirts. He's starting me out as a daytime bartender at one of his pool halls. Should be interesting. My goal is to do whatever I can to get, keep, and make the best of this job.

3. Lay off of the DC chase for a few days. I saw her at George's tonight, only because Peach was at the "other" bar, and invited me to come. I was hoping to only accidentally run into her tonight, but this ended up being more planned than I intended. Regardless, she showed more than the usual amount of affection in front of her friends... good sign always. Anyway, the goal is to -- now that she's expressed a "I actually do give a shit" attitude toward me-- follow up by completely ignoring her. Most guys understand this. Girls probably think I'm a creep if I do this, but think back to the guy that called you 8 times after you made out with him a week before. Did you like that sort of thing? I didn't think so.

--- as a side, I give DC a lot of leeway because of her relationship baggage with a guy that seems to follow her around like a wounded puppy. Seriously, this guy is pathetic. She calls him a stalker, but really he just harmlessly shows up and makes her feel guilty about enjoying another man's company. So there's that. --

4. Successfully get my Christmas stocking and whatever else might belong to me from the E-house. Ever since the freak breakup with my ex (once ex-fiancee, then just ex) things have not been smooth between us. For one, she has yet to show up in public with the guy she's dating. Because, A. I'd choke him with his own arm, and B. She knows I'd make a scene... and she knows I'd make a scene ONLY because I'm one of the few people in this town that can get away with it. So-- in short, I need my shit back, bitch. So I hope that goes bloodlessly.

Now I'm going to enjoy some recently-cooked frozen pizza and see if there are any new pictures of NFL cheerleaders on the sports illustrated website. Cheers!

Notoriety

I'm putting myself on a mandatory no-text, no-call order for the next 24 hours. If anyone is expecting to hear from me tomorrow, it's not going to happen. Sadly, relatively few people will be affected by this moratorium of communication, but I think it will offer me a healthy dose of truth--- in knowing just how many people will call ME after they see that I haven't called them.

One of those people are DC. This girl had me wound around her little finger one night-- after island hopping under canopies while it was raining on the way to her house, kissing under each one, then finally saying goodnight. Then yesterday--- nothing. And today, nothing. Rejected? Of course, I feel rejected. But she's fucking crazy. How should I know if she's planning it all out like this or if she just changed her mind? I just know texting her or calling her tomorrow won't be a good idea. And for that to be an effective (not affective) plan, I have to impose a no-call, no-text order on everyone.

Also, I like how my stats spiked significantly after I posted the map. Hence the name of this blog. Yea... y'all can eat it. I know you're watching and surprisingly for you, I couldn't care less.

Say, stick around a while and keep reading. You might actually find out a few things about normal people and how they live. If all else fails, you can find out how this really weird motherfucker lives his life. I guarantee you, it's freakin' crazy.

Oh-- and for the record..... JUST to freak you guys out... (talking about my friends in Las Vegas) I have only this to say:

Christy, if you ever need tips on sights to see in the Ozarks, you should definitely buy a Tim Ernst book. Look him up on Amazon. He's got a kickass guide on Arkansas waterfalls. Seriously.

Look familiar, anybody? Surprise! I see you too!

I really hope the person under that arrow doesn't think I'm incapable of connecting two very simple dots.

anyone up for frenchin'?

I don't really know why Frenching is called "Frenching", but I assume it has something to do with France being queer. Not as in gay, even though they all kind of are, but as in just not right. If someone sees a couple sitting on a bench in the shade of an elm, lips locked, but at least a few inches of space between their hips... as in they're both sitting down, facing body-forward, but turned to embrace, then they are merely kissing.

"French" kissing is the kind of stuff that leads to French ticklers, and more importantly, sex, which we all know is pretty much the meaning of life. Good things. Anyway.

So not texting or calling DC really paid off tonight. Not that I credit the entire evening's fortune to ignoring her, but I think it might have helped... especially since I found out that last night, when I gave her the balloon flower, she was "ON THE PHONE" with her stalker-- desperately telling him to NOT come over to her house. Obviously she couldn't say that at the time, but she did genuinely dig the gift. Plus, tonight she initiated the kissing not once, not twice, but three times. Before then, I pretty much made all the moves. She either just received them, and kissed back, or would put me on the spot by saying, "What are you doing!?" Twitch, I say, "Could you hold still while I kiss you? Thanks."

We were in her car when she dropped me off and I had just finished telling her (jokingly) that she is the master of mixed signals. I leaned in for a kiss and she practically dove for it. She gave it quite a bit more effort than usual, and I felt the heat in her breath as she kind of panted in resistance. I swear, if I had better hearing, I may have even heard a whimper in her voice. So, having detected desperation, I made it easy for her by pulling away almost immediately and following her empty advice to "have a good night". I turned and began grasping for the door handle, but failed. I searched for only a second before finding it-- then just when my hand reached the latch, I heard a loud "click". I pulled the handle... nothing. She'd locked the damn doors. So I look at my feet, then the mosaic of raindrops on the windshield, then at her lips. All I remember is closing my eyes and meeting her, finally feeling her hand on my neck as we kissed. That's when you know it's truly consensual. It's not a one-way pucker, but a real embrace. Finally, my doubts all along were settled... she wasn't just weirdly charitable about letting me kiss her... she'd been enjoying it this entire time, and she was enjoying it at that moment.

I don't think she's ever looked so beautiful to me before as when she sat there, mouth gaping, struggling to force some combination of clever words out-- but coming up dry. That's right, ladies and gentlemen... I successfully rendered the girl of my dreams speechless. Monumental victory for me... fodder for denial for her.

The struggle continues, though, but I will keep you informed as I try my best not to fuck this up, and mainly, by her suggestion to just "relax."



------
Conversation with a bouncer friend at George's.
Bouncer: Hey Mullis!"
ME: " "Dude, my name isn't Mullis."
Bouncer: "I know, I'm just fuckin' with ya."
ME: "Just call me ---t, man, everyone else does."
Bouncer: "Okay... Mullis."
ME: "Dude, seriously... the next time you call me Mullis, I'm going to pop you in the face."'
Bouncer: "Oh, that'd be stupid. I'd kick your ass."
ME: "Maybe, but I'd still hit you once, and it's going to fucking hurt."
Bouncer: "Ha ha ha... ok.. ok, ---t."
ME: "Thank you."

Reconstruction

So, a number of things have kinda hit the fan. My family has basically decided we're all a bunch of winners. Sister's battery is dead, and a new one is like 60 bucks. She broke up with her boyfriend, which gives me mixed feelings. A week after she gives him the key to our apartment, he gets the axe. I liked this guy, too. He was really the only one who treated her like a lady and didn't get freaky jealous when she hung out with her friends (basically other guys that are like brothers to her). He was protective, but not to a fault. This guy had a lot of integrity and honor, but like so many people I know, his life was basically stuck in "N".

Speaking of "N", that's kind of where I'm at right now. I'm going through the motions with the unemployment stuff, and scheduling interviews with prospective jobs. I met a guy last night who knows the owner of a graphics company. He doesn't know if there's a job opening or not, but I'm willing to check it out. The only hitch is that it's located in Bentonville. Really, I hate the idea of going on the bypass for work every day. I imagine that one day, some soccer mom is going to cut me off causing me to spin out and eat shit in the median grass. Here's an FU in advance, lady.

I caught myself acting crazy last night. DC made a beeline home after the bar closed, leaving me with a very lame hug goodnight. Plus, when she answered the phone earlier, she said, "Hey friend!" Anyway, earlier in the day, I bought her this two dollar balloon flower from a guy who was making balloon animals for kids at the mall. It was a yellow flower, and I thought she'd get a kick out of it because she spent 10 minutes telling me how much she loves yellow roses. I gave her shit for picking out a flower color that symbolizes friendship, twhich she denied having anything to do with her affinity for that particular color. But here and there, she kept hinting at me to not act crazy and "relax!"

So as calmly as I could, I chased her down and caught up with her. She turned around, and said, "I'm on the phone!" Wow. Here, I just wanted to give you this.

Pause.

Once she realized what it was, she started laughing and beating me with it. Good sign? I don't know. I hope she can tell the difference between me just being assertive and a psycho stalker. Just to be on the safe side, I'm not going to call or text her today and let her miss me a little. Or tomorrow, maybe. Knowing her, it may take more than one day. I'll let her go ahead and call me. After all, how shitty would it be to give her that flower (even a balloon one) and not even get a call in the next 48 hours? Okay, that's pretty anal, but really. Three whole days? C'mon, gimme something!

So right now I'm waiting on my sister to get home with my laundry, then I'm gonna hang out with KBT. He's wanting to go shopping, but I think there may be food involved later. We all know how great food can be, huh? Eh? Good stuff.

Oh yea--- I finally saw The Golden Compass a couple days ago. Man, it was awesome. I'm not usually a fan of movies with a child actor(s) as the main character(s) (Narnia made me want to vomit). But this one was pretty damn good. Sam Elliot even has a cameo, and guess who he plays? WTFLOLOMG... himself. It's GREAT! Hah... anyway.

Ups, DHL, and Downs

ADD: Marc, I'm sorry for calling you out. I don't know why I lashed at you like that. Maybe I just needed someone to blame. I know in truth, the only person to blame is myself. I'm still in that whole "this is all bullshit" phase, but I'll get over it and move on soon. Reading what I wrote yesterday, I feel like low-bred scum. I don't know how I allowed myself to get so low. Here is my public apology to you. I'm so very sorry.

***

I can't take it all out on someone that "might" have tattled on me. For all I know, it could be my own fault. Still, I really don't think I deserved to lose my job for getting some tea while I was sick, then later, when I felt a little better, going to pick up my sister's boyfriend from work because she was asleep---nursing herself after catching whatever I had. Apparently, the management sees it another way.

I can't stay mad forever. Either I sit here and bitch about it all day long or I dry those almost-tears forming in the corner of my eye and start filling out applications. Do I have a choice? So many people expect me to be strong and carry on. Some people even laughed and said "No way". My mother didn't even believe me when I told her. It took my sister's firm confirmation in order to gather her acceptance.

I really wonder, even though I have no way of knowing, if anyone will miss me. I know exactly who won't, but I hope the ones I liked will. I know I'll miss them.

Anywho... tomorrow I'll be heading over to the unemployment office and filling out paperwork most of the day. Then around 4:30, I have a date with Ms. Danielle, who finally agreed to hanging out with me. Part of me thinks it shouldn't be so hard to get a date with someone you might be destined to be with, the other part thinks it definitely shouldn't be easy.

Also, something that's much harder than finding a new job, harder than leaving the best job I ever had behind, and harder than telling everyone I know all at once that I lost it.....

Telling my dad.

Interrogation.

Not cool.

Some of my favorite things in life include

HELL YEA! BOOYA!

1. Reconnecting with my inner skater. Thanks to Henry and the donation of his old board, I was able to get acquainted with the acrylic wheel against cold, hard, scratchy, scar-producing pavement. At 3:10 AM. This is the best time, especially since I was hoping that my psycho neighbor downstairs would come out just as I was burning the curb next to her empty mailbox (no gov'ment cheese coming today BEE-YEATCH.)

2. Going to Mickey Finn's. I love that bar. Especially when I know so many people who will say "Oh, I won't go there. It's impossible to get a drink (yet I seem to get peppered every time I go).

3. Danielle. You damn vixen. I finally got the best of you tonight. Jesus, I had no idea your lips were so soft. Maybe now you believe that I'm truly smitten.

4. The onset of winter. JeeeeeeeZUSS, it was bitterly cold tonight. What a wonderful feeling. That made the experience of #3 so much better (cold air; warm lips) for me and (I think) everyone involved. Not to mention the fact that it might actually snow this year (thanks Al Gore, for predicting Global Warming, which could actually result in an early Nuclear Winter.)

5. Parenthesis. Aren't they great? (yes.)

5.5. Not having to work tomorrow. Here's a big ole FUCK WORK. Raise your glass if you have one. If not, raise your pen, because I know you're at work if you're reading this without a drink handy. Cough* M.... *Cough

6. Nicknames. Apparently, my new nickname is Conan. Ain't that the shit?

No really, I love it when...

Our ugly, redneck psycho neighbor downstairs decides to come out in her pj's at 4AM to tell us we woke her up playing on our "skateboard".

When some asshole that calls himself "Joe" tried to convince my sister he was ex-Navy S.E.A.L., yet allowed me to escort him out of Finn's without incident.

Sarah showed up at Arsaga's and, immediately, seeing me with my laptop, demanded I show her the pictures I took the other night, then without hesitation, listed all the ones she wanted me to give her as prints "at least 11x14". Very nice.

Finally, I really love it when my boss calls me and says, "Oh, you're sick... dude, that sucks. By the way, we need to have a formal talk. Some stuff has come up." --- this is where I start looking around for other jobs. AWA is looking good right now. 7:30 AM shift time.... not so good.

Lastly, A'sG telling me that A is "sleepy" and they're not coming out. To which I replied heartily, "Horseshit."

Wait-- one more thing-- sketchy girls. You know who you are. Stop putting some tit out there for the attention and then act surprised when a guy is offended after you shoot him down for the 3rd time. Jesus. Give us a clue.

Not that I've ever been shot down before... cough... *ZAP*

Okay God, so I've been shot down a few times. Jesus. *ZAP*.

Damnit! *ZAP*

Fuck!

..... Fuck... really? Fuck is okay? Sweet! FUUUUUUUCK!

ha ha...

........


....

..

*ZAP*

GS:LDkfJ:LKJ!!!!!!