Milestones

Pending the completion of the blog about my mission trip to Mexico, which is turning out to be something of an epic, and has yet to be published... this is my 50th post. I only started this blog in December, so I think I've done a pretty good job of coming up with something to say.

However, as Senator Obama put it, the time for change has come. I've been living the last couple of months in a state of bumbling chaos. Each thrilling victory I've experienced leads to a brand new failure of some sort. I've come to realize that every single one, victory or failure, has been under my direct control or supervision. Every effect achieved has had a series of obvious causes... from winning the job with Roark, to completely and utterly failing with DC, who is more or less the woman of my dreams. I can't remember who said it, maybe Bill Cosby or somebody like that, but it reminds me of a quote: "I'm a firm believer in luck. The harder I work, the more of it I seem to have."

Obviously, I haven't been working hard enough. That has got to change. So today, I feel pretty good about my luck since I'm packing for a trip up to Kansas City to work for a group of people that put together trade shows for large corporations and money-heavy organizations. The job is temporary, but I'm told to expect 5 straight days of 12 to 16 hour work shifts. When I come home next tuesday, I'll undoubtedly be changed for better or worse. Better to have a fat check coming my way, or worse for putting my back through a blender of manual labor.

I'm going to try to embrace the experience as a cleansing. A boot camp, even. I have one goal, and one goal only-- to make it through the next five or six days without falling over from exhaustion. No thinking of the future, no regretting the past. Just working. It's going to really suck, but that's probably just what I need right now. Pure, unadulterated hard labor.

I take that back. I probably will be thinking about the future while I'm up there. I'll be thinking about how I'm not going to put so much effort into winning the affections of someone that barely acknowledges my existence. I'm going to think about how to be more independent and reliable.

Anyway, I'll be back in a week or so. Wish me luck. No.... wish me hard work.

Some Luck Continues

For those of you following the blow-by-blow I just wanted to update that Awesome *did* manage to get out of her NYE trip--- but that still leaves a couple of questions unanswered. One-- was it her doing, and two-- is she going to follow through on the "prospective" obligatory date she has with her neighbor? I've already gotten past the fact that she very well may not be spending NYE with me. After all it's kind of a loaded holiday-- especially to reunite with an ex. Perhaps I should be thankful that I'm potentially dodging an evening filled with significance and expectations.

So there's that. Also, today is officially my birthday. I turn 24 today-- but I still have 6 years left to prove to certain naysayers (mom!) that I will live past 30. My liver is still (somewhat) intact, I can hold my breath for more than 60 seconds, and if I have to, run from the police without getting tired (but I will be sore the next day-- it's a compromise).

To commemorate the event, here is a short list of accomplishments and things I've successfully been able to avoid in all 24 years of my life.

1. I once went 20 years without drinking any alcohol. Shut up, it counts.
2. I achieved my lifelong dream of working for a large newspaper, wrote stories, took photos, and was an integral part of the paper itself. Then I got fired. Oh well-- NEW GOALS! Woohoo!
3. I harbored a 10 foot neon sign in my living room after my friends stole it from a place that went out of business. We eventually returned it after the disappointing realization that we weren't going to make the 6 o'clock news.
   
4. I have yet, *knock on wood* to get a VD of any kind. Mononucleosis when I was 16 does not count, even though it is a form of herpes. It's like chicken pox, you assholes! Everyone gets it! And the reason it burned when I peed last year is not because I had the germ, but because my penis is too big urine is literally 250 degrees Fahrenheit. Like Chuck Norris, I eventually adapted and learned to use it as a weapon.
   
5. So far I've slept with over 20 women. This is NOT an accomplishment of any kind, nor is it anything to be proud of. I repeatedly feel saddened when I'm asked if I know a girl that people doubt I know-- and it turns out I've slept with her. Anyway, the real achievement here is that none of them would kick me out of their bed. YEA BABY! But don't worry-- I still have a deep respect and appreciation for everyone I've shagged.

That's all folks!!!!