Gentleman with some luck

This is a slightly revised version of the post named "Lucky Gentleman" or something like that. I don't remember, and I'm too lazy to actually check, so just go with it.

Anyway, the idea is that I'm not really lucky in general, I just have a lot of luck and I'm a gentleman about how I decide to carry out these actions. I'll give you a few examples.

First. We'll call this little nugget "CP," which is short for Cattle Prod. Yes, that's right. One night, I got a call from JB asking me if I'd like to come over to make out with CP, since CP had broken up with her boyfriend a few weeks ago and was feeling horny lonely. I gracefully declined this offer, thinking this is not the kind of thing I do, no matter how crazy people think I am. A couple weeks later, CP is showing me photos from her digital camera of a guy FUCKING her, and makes a special note of the cattle prod laying across her naked body. I remembered back when I first met CP, she was at a different bar, and was much more sober than today (these days). She seemed like a sweet girl with a little bit of rebellion. Such was not the case, obviously. Along with that cattle prod she had duck tape wrapped around random areas of her body. I did my best to smile with amusement, but could barely contain the upchuck forcing its way up my throat.

Second. JB herself decided to make a move on me. This was the same night I had a wonderful evening with JR-- henceforth known as Awesome. Anyway, JB knew nothing about the date with Awesome, since she runs in different circles, but decided nonetheless to offer her physical being to me, at my disposal, whenever I so chose. Obviously, I declined this offer. JB is a nice girl, behind that iron curtain of vodka bottles, and she really seems like she needs a nice guy like me in her life--- only, I'm too young to deal with her bullshit, she's too drunk ALL THE TIME, and worst of all--- she likes to make a scene. That's an instant zap in my book. INSTANT ZAP.

I could go on with the third and fourth ones, but they require WAY too much explanation, and my faithful readers would probably appreciate a bit of brevity at this point. (sorry guys)

So I managed to wiggle some time in with Awesome tonight by offering to pick her up from duh pub (not to be confused with the REAL pub, which I will always refer to as "The Bar"). Her friend was a little catty, complained most of the time, and generally came off as a girl who would basically rip my face off if I gave her the opportunity. I grew anxious as Awesome, Face-Ripper-Offer and I sat there, sipping our brews, talking about our respective Christmastimes. Face-Ripper-Offer stayed only long enough to evaluate me, then give Awesome a thumbs up or down. Apparently, by Face-Ripper-Offer leaving on her own accord, it was a signal to Awesome that she felt comfortable leaving her (Awesome) with me alone. Awesome later confirmed this by telling me that Face-Ripper-Offer commented that I was cute and funny while I wasn't looking.


Duh.

Anyway, after F-R-O left, Awesome and I just kind of sat dazed for a while. She had this look like she wanted to tell me something, but wouldn't let herself. I hate those situations. You know it's not your place to push for it-- yet having it on your mind makes it really difficult to pursue other topics of idle conversation.

FF>>

Awesome and I are sitting in my car at her place, sort of looking for the signal from one another. After a silence broke out, I finally asked her if I could kiss her. More like, "Can I just kiss you now? Seriously?"
She shook her head no, and sort of leaned away. But her eyes... oh, my friends, her eyes said she lied.
"Bullshit," I said, and I kissed her. she kissed back

Well, don't they always kiss back at first? Of course they do, at first, but that's just reaction. Anyway, she began to press against my chest and I moved with her hands as if the lightest touch could guide me. More chatting. "I should go," she said, and gripped the door-- failing to actually open it. "That's a sign," I said, but immediately unlocked the door for her-- but leaned in at the same time.

After we finished kissing, she asked me what time I needed to meet my sister. "It's tentative," I replied, "I'd say we have another twenty minutes."

For fifteen of those minutes she revealed to me that the person she was "prospectively" going to have NYE with was her neighbor; that this person and her were traveling to New Orleans to visit a friend of hers' and that she had no idea what was going to happen. Then she said, "You know what I really hate... about you?"

My mind reeled with a myriad of things to hate about me.

"You have the worst timing," she said.
I paused, smiled, and respectfully disagreed. "I think I have pretty good timing. If this means that there's even a small chance that while you're down in New Orleans with that other guy, that I'll be in the back of your head at any point during that trip, then I have the best timing in the world."
"If it means," I continued, "That at some point you wonder what it'd be like if you were there with me instead of him, then I have some pretty damn good timing. Because the way I see it, if I had waited a second longer to come to you, that chance might not exist."

After a long pause, she noticed the clock was nearing the 5-minute mark of when I said I'd have to leave. She looked at me and said, "Can we, just for the next five minutes, not think about anything but kissing each other?"

Certainly. Most certainly.

Happy New Years... and Happy Birthday to me in less than 21 hours.