Eye Storms

I know it's been a long time, but I've been busy as frickin hell.

For one thing, I decided to say "Fuck full time work" and just milk the taxpayers by reaping my unemployment check and working apart time sissie job. So there it is.

Secondly, I've been sick as a dog. Tonight I felt just barely well enough to go out and see some friends. I even decided to contact an old flame, the ever demonic DC.

Except tonight was different. I really threw my guts out there. I believe the conversation went something like this:

DC: So yea, there's something about me you don't know.
ME: Actually, there's something about you, that I've been meaning to tell you. (drunken slur)
DC: What's that?
(JUST then, the music dies down and all you hear are the clangs of empty glasses hitting an oak tabletop)
ME: Well, it's going ot have to wait, because I was going to say it while the music was playing. Now everyone can hear what I'm saying.
(As if the bartender heard me, the music roars up again)
DC: So what were you going to say? :: keep in mind, she fails to make eye contact the entire time:::
ME: Just that... well.
DC: What??
ME: You are, without a doubt, the most beautiful person I've ever met.

Long pause.

Seriously, this pause was so long, it felt like I was counting. She had a look on her face like she wanted to just kiss the shit out of me, and at the same time, just run for her life. I stopped her before she could.

ME: I know that puts you in an awkward situation, but seriously, DC, but there it is. I really can't stand sitting here much longer without telling you that. And I feel like as much as you push me away, there is definitely a chemistry or something here that can't be denied. And I've done my very fucking best to not come across like a weirdo or a stalker or whatever... and to just enjoy you whenever I possibly can. And I know -- I know that puts you in a bad position because you are so inclined to say no.

I looked at the mirror behind the bar at myself, and then back at her

ME: But I can't let you keep saying no. Not until you stop looking at me like that. Not until you stop being the most beautiful person I've ever met. Not until

And then--- right then

She just kissed me. No tongue, no dirty stuff. Just a long, sweet kiss on the lips. It almost felt like she was trying to shut me up... or maybe a sympathy kiss. But God, I enjoyed it... just like every other kiss I've gotten from her. Just like every kiss I've stolen from her.

It seemed like days before I realized that we were no longer kissing and we were back to just looking at one another

After an even longer pause, DC looked at me, and I knew she was drunk and sick, but there was something swirling around in her eyes. A realization, I think, as though I could see the actual chemistry of it. The storm in her raged.

God, it raged. And so did mine.

We parted with the agreement that I'd call her tomorrow-- and the agreement that she'd answer.